Terry is a Mental Health and Substance Abuse Coordinator with Depaul UK, working with our most vulnerable clients. Here he speaks about the highs and lows of the job.
I’ve been working at Depaul UK for 18 months now, and in that time, I’ve supported 30 young people in the North Tyneside area; of those, 25 have attempted to end their lives (sometimes multiple times) or are seriously self-harming. These are incredibly vulnerable young people who have been let down by their families , by the system, by abusive relationships, and by trauma.
The young people I see are often so distressed, anxious, and depressed that they don’t even have the energy or motivation to engage with their progression coaches or the official services that can support them. They just don’t see a future, and they don’t trust anyone. Without someone in their corner, they risk being forgotten.
A lot of the time, their behaviour can be perceived as chaotic, angry , and self-destructive, or they might completely withdraw, shut down, and lock themselves away – turning to drugs, alcohol, self-harm, and self-neglect as a way to cope. These young people would fall through the cracks if it weren’t for jobs like mine.
As a trained mental health counsellor using a trauma-informed approach, my job is to listen without judgment, be consistent, gently build their trust, and then, when they are stable, help them move towards the people and services that can support them in the long term. Like everyone at Depaul UK, I’m committed to showing up, never giving up, keep turning up again, and again.
But it’s not just about being present and listening. Time spent with a young person working towards stability, is time spent in A&E, with Crisis Mental Health and Safeguarding Teams, and with Social Services. A big part of what I do is about reducing suicide attempts, that’s when I know my job is done and the young person is ready to move on from me and engage with other support services.
To support this, we’ll work together on therapeutic grounding techniques like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT); and through counselling and therapy, I’ll help them to understand why they feel the way they do. But what I can do, which not every counsellor can, is give them a reason to hope.
You see my qualifications are not just educational; it’s my real-life experience that makes the big difference. Because I’ve been where they are, I’ve experienced what they’ve experienced… and I’ve survived, and knowing that about me can help build trust and give them hope.
There’s a young girl I have been working with recently. Her mum had died, her sister was taken into care, she has serious mental health problems and multiple suicide attempts, and she had been left to look after herself. I have never seen such a terrible case of self-neglect. When I first turned up at her flat, she wouldn’t get off the bed in the living room, and her dog was messing inside the house; it was horrendous.
I started off by just getting her to go for a walk with me and the dog. Once she’d started to trust me, we started looking at the things we needed to do to keep her safe and support her. We got her assessed by a community mental health team who prescribed medication. We secured her a care worker three times a week, we got her into support services, and we got her doing activities at college.
I am so pleased to say she is now doing really well, no more suicide attempts, her flat is ordered, and she is looking after herself and engaging in society. It’s a total transformation. Being able to provide the support we do has probably saved her life. And it was that kind of support that saved mine.
You see, the reason I have been to university, studied to get a master’s, and do this job every day is because I too had someone who listened without judgement, showed up when they said they would, and came from the same background as me. That was inspiring. I couldn’t believe that someone doing that kind of job had come from the same kind of place as me. It was like Wow, there is hope for me. Now, I want to do the same for young people, who like me, just need someone to care and be there, gently guiding the way.
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